["What's your name?\", asked the teacher.\n\"Mohammad,\" he replied.\n\"You're in Ireland now,\" replied the teacher, \"So from now on you will be known as Mike.\n\" Mohammad returned home after school.\n\"How was your day, Mohammad?\", his mother asked.\n\"My name is not Mohammad. I'm in Ireland and now my name is Mike”.\n\"Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!\"\nAnd his mother beat the shit out of him. Then she called his father, who beat the shit out of him again.\nThe next day Mohammad returned to school. The teacher saw all of his fresh bruises.\n\"What happened to you, Mike?\", she asked.\n\"Well shortly after becoming an Irishman, I was attacked by two fucking Arabs.\"","What does a Jew with an erection get when he walks into a wall? A broken nose.","What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? Acne doesn’t come on a boys face until he’s 13.","What does a baby look like after a minute in the microwave? I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.","I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night… I wanted my first time to be special.","What’s the difference between jam and jelly? I don’t jelly my cock down a bitches throat.","What do you get if you cross an elephant with a poodle? A dead poodle with an 18 inch wide asshole.","Why do Jewish girls like to fuck doggy style? They can’t stand to see somebody else have a good time.","What’s the difference between a British man and his girlfriend? His girlfriend has a higher sperm count.","How do you know if a Chinese person robs your house? Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later, the fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway.","What do you call five Mexicans on the bottom of a pool? Cinco","What did the little Mexican boy (Rui) get for Christmas? My bike.","How do you kill a redneck? Wait ’till he fucks his sister then cut the brakes on his house.","What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?\nA pair of gloves.\nNah just kidding, he's still trying to open his gifts.","What's black and sits at the top of a staircase?\nStephen Hawking after a house fire.","What do you call a 5 year old with no friends?\nA sandy hook survivor.","What's the difference between a Pakistani elementary school and an Al Qaeda base?\nI don't know, I just fly the fucking drone, man.","What's the difference between food and ebola?\nAfricans get ebola.","What do you do when your dishwasher doesn't work?\nSlap her.","http://puu.sh/lSo0C/fcf7ccaed0.jpg","A man sees a young boy standing at the side of a cliff, looking down.\n\"What's wrong?\" Asks the man.\n\"My parents car skidded and they fell off the cliff.\" Says the crying boy. \n\"Well this just isn't your day is it.\" The man says as he unbuttons his pants.","I went to my doctor for a checkup last week.\n\"You need to stop masturbating.\" He said.\n\"Why?\"\n\"Because I'm trying to examine you.\"","I was having sex with a woman last night, and she wouldn't stop calling out another mans name. Who the hell is \"rape\"?","I don't understand terrorists. They kill themselves to get 72 virgins when they could just become priests and get them now","Unsure of what to get your girlfriend for Christmas? Get her a pair of shoes and a dildo. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself."]
